Dementia and Unresolved Wounds: Pain from the Past

What kinds of things does a death doula talk about to someone with early dementia? As a Hospice nurse I’m used to working with individuals who have late-stage dementia and are non-verbal or non-sensical in their speech. As an End-of-Life Doula working with those in the earlier stages of this disease process, I’m having to learn new communication skills and also how to be more observant and a better listener.

I recently read a quote from Ajith Fernando, author of Reclaiming Love. He says “When our anger with life is healed, we have the peace of God.” One of my current clients, Julie, who has dementia, has had some suffering and sorrow in her life and often shares a few of these memories during our visits. I’ve wondered recently if her verbal journaling with me will help to release some of the anger that may have embedded itself in her mind and allow her to experience more of the peace of God as she moves closer to this final chapter in this Passing Season. I pray that it will be a catharsis of sorts to lighten her burdens.

I hope that by cataloging some of these stories in a legacy project, Julie’s family will be able to more fully understand the things that shaped her life. I think knowing about a person’s past can help us to appreciate who they were and understand the values they held which directed their choices.